Recent Shows About Women

This is going to be a long post! Without wasting any time, and words, here it goes:

Delhi Crime – Netflix

This is one of the most brilliant shows I have ever seen.  I remember watching Dil Dhadakne Do and thinking that Shefali Shah is such a competent actress.  I wish she had  mainstream roles. Bollywood has never valued female actors above a certain age. Thankfully, Netflix knows better. Other than Shefali, Adil Hussain who played the Commissioner was too good. Special mention for Rajesh Tailang as Bhupendra Singh. Shefalis Shah’s expression every time someone mentioned the rod was so effective – her eyes get filled with tears, but she does not actually cry. She tries to keep herself composed to do her job.

Now, since this is a show based on Nirbhaya, it is impossible to ignore that happened to her, and treat this as just a show.

  • People are complaining that police has been showed in good light. What about the times they have completely sabotaged the investigation (Arushi’ Talwar’s case for example). I would like to say that amidst all that is wrong, at least let us give them credit for what they are doing right. They did catch the killers soon.
  • One of the most controversial parts of the show is the portrayal of Nirbhaya’s male companion. Akash is supposed to come from a shady background, allegedly has another girlfriend, fooled around in the bus with the girl, did not do enough to protect her, and gave an interview to media despite being told not to. Out of all of this, the only thing I (or anyone else) would know is that he did actually give an interview few days after the attack because we watched it.In the show, Bhupendra Singh who mistrusts Akash the most, says that he would have done anything to protect his girl, had he been in the same situation. I have over the years heard some other men say the same thing.

The thought that a man must / can protect a woman from attackers is very disturbing.

How would a man protect a woman from six men with a rod? Are we living in a Bollywood movie ? Girl gets attacked, screams bachao , cross arms her bosom.. The hero jumps and flies over buildings beating up every man. Hero and heroine sing and dance happily ever after!

Few years back I had attended a safety training for women. The instructor made a reference to Nirbhaya’s case and said that women are cautious when they are alone. However, with a male companion they are less guarded and they do things which they would not have done had they been alone. Would Nirbhaya have boarded that bus late at night had she been alone?  Probably not. Contrary to the popular belief, that women are safer with male companions,  women actually do get attacked even when they are with men. Women have been kidnapped, with the male companions beaten up.  Women have been raped in front of their husbands and fathers.  A friend of mine, and her husband got beaten up by some goons, when they were walking their friends home after dinner, who lived nearby.

It is a no brainer that an attacker with or without weapons is better prepared than an unsuspecting person (male). So as a thumb rule, the trainer told us that we should follow the same caution with a man, as we would when we are alone.

When a woman expresses to her husband / boyfriend / friend / brother that she does not feel safe getting into an auto at such a time, or taking a particularly isolated route, or walking on a certain road, the response she usually gets is:

Don’t think too much..

Don’t be paranoid.

Nothing will happen, I am there.

 Since we always expect men to protect women, men may take it as a direct blow to their ego. This woman does not trust me. She does not have confidence in me.

I remember an incident where in a discussion among a group of friends, one guy (who secretly liked a girl) asked her why she was such a big fan of a certain actor.  She replied that the main thing a girl looks for in a guy is how well he can protect her!  And this actor was so tall and well-built that he would be able to!  The guy who asked her this question was very lean, and shorter than average. Needless to say, his self esteem was shattered by her response!

This kind of mentality is unhealthy for girls and boys. Yes, we should look out for our friends and loved ones.  Girls look out for girls too – sharing Uber details, tracking the ride, etc. And certainly, we should never leave our friends alone in danger.

But the expectation that the guy should be able to protect the woman with him, and should have died doing that is unreasonable. It is also extremely unfair that a ‘hatta katta’ looking guy is better suited to meet this expectation. 

Recently, a woman in the United States got into the wrong car, mistaking it for an Uber. Hours later, they found her body. People were saying she should have checked the licence, driver details before entering blah blah!  It was ridiculous!

Let us stop scrutinizing the choices made by victims. We like to believe that we are so perfect that nothing like this could ever happen to us!  The thought that something so horrific could happen to anyone so randomly is hard for people to accept. Even if the guy was touching the girl in he bus (I don’t support it, but it happens), had another girlfriend (also happens), so what!!  What does not happen is inserting a rod inside a woman’s rectum and vagina and pulling out her intestines.  

Made in Heaven – Amazon Prime

This is a very entertaining show, following the lives of Tara and Karan, who are wedding planners. Each episode tackles one marriage, one social evil at a time while Tara and Karan’s personal stories run in parallel. The problems are nothing new – dowry, being Manglik as a hindrance in marriage , inter-religion love story etc. But these have been shown in a very clever way, making it refreshing to watch. The show is very good at contrasting the economic inequality and socio-economic transition in India. Rituals are customized.  The ‘modern outlook with traditional values’ is basically about retaining the (bad) parts of our culture as long as it is convenient, and copying from the West, to suit ourselves. Hypocrisy as best!

Arjun Mathur as Karan was brilliant.  Sobhita Dhulipala’s acting was average but she had a sense of charm and restraint that suited her character. Kalki was brilliant.

In one of the episodes, the parents of a groom (who pretends to be a very scrupulous IAS officer) demand dowry right before the baraat arrives. The bride and the family want to know if the groom is aware of this.

For the benefit of unmarried women:

The groom is aware of what his parents demand. Always.

Four More Shots Please – Amazon Prime

My apologies for putting this show in the same page with two good shows.   I have watched four episodes I think.  So again, my apologies if it gets better. I did not feel like watching any further.

Storyline? Four women in this show drink, have sex, and abuse.  And then they drink some more, have sex and abuse a little more!  Don’t get me wrong.  I am all for women’s rights to do whatsoever they choose.  Tara smokes in Made in Heaven.  Vartika abuses in Delhi Crime. I have no problem with that. We are all humans and flawed.  I have a problem when a show makes it a statement to do this and markets it as a ‘feminist’ show.

Let’s not get into the whole logic of why we don’t object to movies like Masti and target women centric shows. I hated Masti too!   

The characters are stupid and annoying. It is tough to choose the most annoying one, but Bani wins.  The dialogues are disgusting such as ‘Mere vagina ki jai’. In another scene, Bani hurls horrible abuses to Lisa Ray to motivate her to work out!!  Siddhi refers to her mother by her first name. These women walk up to men in bars and say things like ‘How do you do it?’  ‘No anal! ’

I don’t know any people who behave this way!  Talking about size of male genitals is not empowering. If the lead protagonists of this show were male and said the same things about / to women, there would have been an outrage by now to boycott this objectification of women!

Also, what is with the obsession in Bollywood and Indian television with divorced couples trying to get back together? A divorce involves a lot of money, pain, time and litigation. In real life, when people get divorced, they are done. In stupid shows like this, it is so reversible that they may get back together any moment!

The show seems to be inspired by ‘Sex and the City’ one of my all time favourites. SATC was entertaining, fun and emotional in parts.  The difference between such shows and shows like Four more shots, or the Veere di wedding types is that while in the former, the characters  are just being themselves, in the latter they are desperately trying to impose their definition of ‘modern’ in our face!

PS. If anyone knows of any arrests made under section 377, please drop me a note.

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