The Real Men

Friday night I had gone to a Durga Puja pandal. Yesterday I went for dandiya. Today is a relaxed day at home, so I thought of catching up on the ‘Kaun Banega Crorepati’ episode that I had missed.

All the guests who are invited to play for the ‘Nayi Chaah Nayi Raah’ segment are fascinating. One guest I remember was from Patna who conducts IIT coaching free of cost for children who cannot afford tuitions.  His mother even cooks for those children. In this one lifetime, some people manage to find something so meaningful and selfless, and then there are others for whom there is no end to greed.

Friday’s guest contestant was Mumbai-based lawyer Afroz Shah, who has been honoured by the United Nations, for his environmental initiative of leading the clean-up of Mumbai’s Versova Beach. The next visuals were of Afroz and his volunteers removing the garbage from the beach with their hands, wearing gloves. On the show, he said that the garbage gets buried under the sand, and it requires a lot of strength for them to pull it out. Would I be able to do that? Who knows what kind of garbage would come out! In a country where people don’t even bother cleaning up after their own garbage, and civic sense is uncommon, this was an unusual sight.

I was especially impressed by this gentleman, and this episode made me very happy. Few things I saw touched me. This is an exceptional human being, and the qualities he exhibited show what being a good man really means. There are some stereotypes of being “masculine” which I feel are absolute rubbish and damaging for men. The false sense of “masculinity” has ruined many lives – including men who are expected to conform to them, and women who have to live with such men:

Men were born to be dirty. Cleaning is a woman’s job!

Here is a man who has been honoured by the United Stations for ……….. Cleaning! Cleanliness and hygiene has nothing to do with genders! It is a personality trait!

Men should not cry!

Another rubbish! Men should not make others cry. Afroz got emotional when his mother spoke about him on the show.

Men should not be emotional!

  • Afroz said that he is very attached to all his volunteers! I thought it was such a sweet thing to say!
  1. Men should not be hugging each other! That’s a girly thing!
  2. When Mr. Bachchan gave Afroz a key to a tractor and an excavator, he was overwhelmed. He asked Mr. Bachchan for a hug! 

Yes, these are the real men. The good men. Who care about the society. Who care about other people. Who are making a difference. They should be the role model for young boys. It is probably too late for old boys to learn but I will take a shot anyway. Being emotionally distant, saying ‘boys will be boys’, and not showing emotions are not “macho” qualities. Being sensitive, kind and expressive is. Integrity and goodness will always be the most endearing virtues in a man!

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