Andhadhun: Most Fun Watch In A Long Time

After hearing awesome things about this movie, I dared to go for the 10 pm show that too in the second row from the front. The theatre was buzzing with people. Houseful on a week day night show!  This movie is a thriller so I don’t want to spoil it. Just few thoughts:

  • The characters in the movie look ordinary but they end up doing extra ordinary things!
  • The retro songs are very well placed in the movie as one of the characters is a yesteryear actor. They add value to the feel of the movie.
  • Tabu is a delight to watch. She is brilliant! Such a versatile actress. My favourite movie of hers till date is Astitva. There is so much of drama to her character! But this drama comes naturally because of the situations. Bollywood is improving and now there are good roles for older actresses instead of the career getting over once a woman is in her 30s. It is such a breath of fresh air. We are not interested in watching colleges girls fall in love and run around trees.
  • Ayushman is one of his kind in Bollywood. He plays the role of boy next door with so much ease which makes people relate to him. Yet, has the good looks of a ‘hero’ which again makes us like him. Deadly combination!
  • Radhika Apte does justice to her role. So does the rest of the character who are perfectly cast.
  • Editing is crispy. There is no dull moment.
  • The dialogues are hilarious! There is so much going on the movie – murder, adultery, betrayal yet it will make you laugh every now and then.

Was telling my father about the movie, discussing some scenes with excitement. ‘After a long time, you seem to have enjoyed a movie so much.’ He said. That is true.  I don’t like most movies… 

Go for it! This movie is fun to watch.  Don’t miss it!

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Tanushree Dutta: More Power To You

Attended an event by ‘We The Women’ yesterday where Tanushree Dutta spoke about what happened to her.  She was in conversation with Barkha Dutt and Sandhya Menon, the journalist who started a movement similar to MeToo in India where women are being encouraged to write about sexual harassment they have faced at workplace. Here is what Tanushree Dutta said:

  1. She was shooting for a movie wherein she had a solo song. Allegedly Nana Patekar manufactured a scene in that song where he was supposed to feel her. She refused. She was told she does not have a choice. She was bullied. We have all seen the view of her in the car getting attacked. She faced the consequences of saying ‘No’.
  2. Her other allegation was that Vivek Agnihotri said to her “Jao, Kapde utar kar nacho”  in the context of giving cues to Irrfan Khan for another song in another movie. Irrfan Khan supported her by saying, “Mujhe acting aati hai”. Sunil Shetty also added, “Main aaun kya cues dene?”

Some key points to note.

Was it sexual harassment?

Yes. In the first instance, at the workplace she was asked to do something without her consent and she faced consequences for refusing. The second remark was extremely demeaning and offensive. For women wondering if it was not a big deal, imagine how YOU would feel if someone told you “kapde utar ke nacho”.For men, if someone said that to your wife, would you like it? To all the people saying she did so much more in Aashiq Banaya Apne, well, that was consent! What people don’t understand is that just because a woman agrees for something one time, it does not grant a license to anyone to do it again. Consent is required each and every time. What happen to her is as bad as getting molested or raped? No. But does that mean it is not wrong? Should women only speak up when they get bruised and beaten? Why should we women continue to normalize obnoxious and crass behavior? Why can’t men start learning how to behave and talk instead? Is human decency really that difficult?

Why do you believe her?

Whatever she said sounded quite believable. For people who are saying she wanted publicity, Tanushree replied that she could have done the item song, made money, stayed in everyone’s good books and continued her career. Also, she is not coming back after 10 years. She had complained and raised her voice then too. But nobody really cared enough.

People in power dominate and abuse their power. It is the truth.  It is not even a woman vs man thing. But yes, men have been more powerful than women in most cultures.  A woman who may be very weak herself becomes a different person when she becomes a mother-in-law. Why? Power!

Another thing.  Most of the harassment happens alone between two people. There is not much proof. Unless you get raped and go to the hospital immediately. In cases of verbal harassment, groping, touching, feeling, rubbing, getting flashed in the face, there is no proof for the most part. It is the word of the victim against the perpetrator. Or the perpetrator’s word against the victim. I cannot convince anyone to believe her. Neither do I wish to.

But here is my two cents:

To all the women reading this:

Yesterday Barkha Dutt asked women from the audience to come up and share their me too story. One lady, with all due respect went on stage and narrated an incident with much conviction about bullying she faced at workplace.  It had NOTHING to do with sexual harassment. Please do not confuse the movement with getting back at employers who have not treated you right. Please go ahead and complain to your HR regarding your work-related issues.  The metoo movement is for sexual harassment at the workpace. Let us stay focused.

To all the men reading this:

Instead of reacting because of your inflated egos, and crying that not all men are bad, and that poor men are being humiliated in public, please channelize your energy to something constructive.  When your male friends crack sexist jokes, forward demeaning videos of women on that all boys group, comment on the legs of that new intern, do you even make any sound? If the answer is NO, then please continue that for our movement too. You do not speak up when you should so better keep silent now also. Not all men are rapists but many men cover up for each other, protect each other, adding to the damage.

 

 

 

 

Sui Dhaga – Finally A Bollywood Couple With Real Problems

I watched this movie last weekend. Did not get a chance to write about it then. Very quickly, here is what I thought:

  • The movie is to the point. There are no songs in dream sequence, or a flashback on how Anushka and Varun’s characters met. Great editing!
  • Their clothes, their home, Anushka’s hair everything is realistic. They look like they do not have enough money.
  • I felt so bad for the couple as they went through their struggles. The big brands do end up exploiting poor people. I was so inspired that I decided to boycott clothes from the well-known giants and instead buy from those who need more.
  • Little activities in the lives of a middle class family are very well depicted and relatable. Like the mother-in-law is critically ill, hospitalized yet all she is thinking is that the daughter -in-law should go home in time to fill up two buckets of water!
  • I loved the love story of the lead couple. Bollywood is usually very hopeless when it comes to showing a relationship realistically. Couples conveniently fall in love during a dream sequence. Their conflicts revolve around parents’ disapproval or an unconvincing love triangle or an ek tarfa pyaar which is often borderline stalking.. Recently all movies have ample amount of kissing scenes etc to establish two people are in love! Very few movies such as Abhimaan, Saathiya, etc focused on a married couple’s real issues.
  • Sui Dhaga is about a husband and a wife facing life. It is about making decisions about what kind of work you want your spouse to do, taking risks professionally, making poor judgments while taking care of ailing parents and also managing their expectations. There is a moment of blame game after which the couple immediately gets back to supporting each other as a team, and as family. Isn’t that what marriage is all about?

I am glad Bollywood is making such movies. In my view, it is absolutely recommended!

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Six Good Reasons To Watch Stree

Imagine a setting where men are told to stay home after dark as the streets are too unsafe for them. Imagine a husband telling his wife to come home soon because he is scared to be left home alone. Imagine men dressing up as women to avoid getting killed. Imagine a woman luring a man to a secluded place. Imagine men’s clothes being ripped apart…

No this is not my fantasy. This is the premise of the movie, Stree.

Is it possible to make a movie that can make you laugh, scare you, and also pass on a relevant message? This movie deserves an applause for doing just that.

A lot of people find horror amusing. And that works as advantage for Stree being a ‘horror comedy’. They themselves make fun of the Bhoot.

Some more reasons to go for it:

  1. Brilliant acting

I think most of us by now are fans of Rajkumar Rao. I had loved his performance in Bareily Ki Barfi. But in this movie, he is even better. So is the rest of the cast (very aptly selected for their roles) in this sleepy town of Chanderi in Madhya Pradesh. Shraddha Kapoor looks beautiful although acting wise she is probably overshadowed in the second half by such better actors. Still, she is mysterious and mesmerizing enough to keep her character engaging.

  1. Consent reinforced!

Bollywood is becoming much more aware. Not aware enough to get rid of item numbers. Nonetheless if you have a Pink that talks about consent, you have a Stree to complement it.

“Wo stree hai, purush nahi jo jabardasti utha le jaye. Wo pehle tumse anumati legi”

  1. People with patriarchal mindset, Beware!

 “Aurat paon ki jooti hoti hai”

If you think like that, then well you deserve to be punished! Ghosts have started targeting patriarchal, chauvinist men who do not give love and respect to women.

  1. Based on a ridiculously, true phenomenon.

Now this one line completely changes my perception of horror movies (in a good way). Probably this is the reason why I like the Conjuring series or the exorcism of Emily Rose.

I tried to google the original “legend” the movie is based on:

As spooky as this may sound, the story takes inspiration from an urban legend that had Bengaluru in its grasp sometime in the 1990s.

Legend says that a witch would come knocking at people’s doors every night and if they opened it for her, she would murder them. Why would people open their doors for a witch? Because she would speak in the voices of their friends or family members.

To ward her away, the town’s residents would write on their walls, “Nale Ba” which means ‘come tomorrow’ in Kannada. The witch would read the inscription on the walls and turn away, only to return the next day and the cycle would continue perennially.

This is all there is on every publication. 1990’s is still quite recent, so I am surprised there isn’t more on it. Anybody reading the article who was in Bengaluru at that time and knew about this, do leave your thoughts in the comments.

  1. Have a good laugh

Oh there are many!  The movie has some lose ends in the plot but still it is very entertaining.

  1. The language

The movie makes use of shuddh as well as colloquial Hindi. From “swayam sevi” to “phalana dhikana” it is indeed a treat to those who are away from their hometown and missing the North Indian flavor in conversations.

The essence of a horror movie lies in its ending. (If I can call this a horror movie). A friend and I are debating on the ending. I do not want to put spoilers in the ending so not getting into it. I read that the sequel is on way so no wonder.

Let me know your thoughts!!

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Movies, Music and Nostalgia…

I watched Gold yesterday. I wish I could review the movie….

I usually do not watch a night show during the week days because I have to get up early thanks to work. But yesterday, I ended up watching the night show as there was only one show in the nearby theater and the whole family had planned to go. With the trailers and the non-smoking advertisements, these night shows easily start by 10 pm.

At home, 10 pm is the time when I mercilessly switch off television, irrespective of how engaging our current Netflix show is, and tell my husband it is time to “shut down”.

This is followed by scrubbing the kitchen slabs and gas stove…

Anyway, coming back to yesterday, here I was at 10 pm daring to watch a night show along with my family.  During the first half of the movie, I tried unsuccessfully to keep my eyes open. From whatever little I managed to watch, Amit Sadh looked good, and I found Mouni Roy’s character annoying.

After interval, I was completely asleep. I even had a dream which involved the movie.  Now, I am even more confused as to what was part of the movie, and what was part of my dream. Hubby tried his best to keep me awake by pulling my leg every time Mouni appeared on screen – “This angry wife is just like you.” But in vain. I was too sleepy to even react to him. However, in between, I would wake up and ask him,

Who is in the semi final?”

“Did the final match start yet?” 

I sounded a lot like my grandmother who does not pay any attention to TV serials but keeps disturbing everybody else who is watching intently by asking what is going on.

By the end of the movie, blissfully asleep I had forgotten where I was.  When people started getting up for the national anthem, I tried to reach my tummy to remove my seat belt, thinking I am in a flight.  Then I woke up, realizing that I am in a theater.  This awareness that I was not in an aircraft  gave me a strange sense of satisfaction because I thought at least I don’t have to travel…

This incident reminded me of the first time I had fallen asleep in the theater as a kid. I am sure I would have fallen asleep as a baby many times but this is the first time that I could remember. It was a charity show of the movie, Maachis. My parents and sister had loved the movie and the “crowd”. Those were the days of single screen theatres and not multiplexes. Families took balcony seats. There would be whistling, screaming, dancing, clapping and what not going on in the front. But being a charity show, the tickets were very expensive. Being a small town, half of the town was present and my parents and sister had spent the time before the start of the movie in socializing with acquaintances / friends they were bumping into.

I don’t think I ever watched Maachis properly after growing up.  Whenever, somebody mentions Maachis, I have a very faint memory of lots of people waiting outside the cinema hall for the movie to start. But it is a good, uplifting feeling (contrary to the serious subject of the movie).

In a recent road trip to a hill station I kept playing songs from the 90’s like Latka dikha diya tumne, Muqabla, Taal se Taal mila etc. My niece was also traveling with me and in an attempt to match up to her I had downloaded some English songs too. Since I am not up to date with anything other than Bollywood, my list started with Shape of You, and ended with Cheap Thrills. Thankfully, she had requested me to download song new songs (which I had no idea about).

I realized that our generation still knows songs from the 60’s 70’s etc but the next generation does not know any songs from the 80’s,90’s.

But why did these songs make me so happy? 

Probably because of the way they make me feel…

It is the association with songs / movies that make us like them years later.

Associations. Memories. And the games our mind plays with them…

That was then. Gold for me will always be the first movie I watched after my wedding, in which I fell asleep!

 

Lust Stories: Definitely Worth A Netflix Watch!

Finally got a chance to watch this. This movie is available on Netflix and has four stories.

  1. The one by Anurag Kashyap

The first story stars Radhika Apte and Akash Thosar. Akash was in Sairat, which I watched recently. In this movie, he looked much cuter.

Imagine a life where you get commitment from a husband who loves you “selflessly”. Yet, you get to “explore” with other guys. Separate the two. After all, you can’t find everything in one guy – stability, commitment, sexual compatibility.  The husband has no objections rather encourages the wife to have fun. Sounds like some fantasy!

Well No! Human nature is complicated. Jealousy, possessiveness, mood swings, longing for love in a hook-up!  Fantasy does not really turn into reality and who better to show us this than Radhika Apte as Kalindi.

Kalindi is initially relatable. Then she becomes too crazy for me to accept as a real person. But she is definitely fun to watch. The beauty of this movie is that they are not trying to show her as good or bad. She just is! Confused! Flawed! Selfish! Moody! She wants to explore but has no idea how to deal with the consequences. In fact, she has no idea how she will feel the next moment.

  1. The one by Zoya Akhtar

We see a couple going at it.  Within few seconds the girl squats on the floor, lifts her salwar to her knees and starts mopping the floor. She is the maid sleeping with the employer.

I admire Bhumi since her first movie. But I feel with every movie she just gets better and better. In this movie, she hardly has any dialogues. We see her going about her daily routine, scrubbing the floor, preparing tea, serving snacks all the while emoting with her eyes.

In one scene, the employer’s mother tells the maid (Sudha) , ‘Bhaiya ki shadi pakki ho gayi hai tumko bhi bahut badhai.” It made me smile.

Bhaiya. Bhabhi. This is how we address people in this country. The society has created the most appropriate way to clarify that it is a ‘clean’ relationship.

People still do what they have to do…

  1. The one by Dibakar Banerjee

This one was slow-paced and a bit boring in the beginning.  It was a delight to watch Manisha Koirala, though after such a long time. She has grace!

Reena is having an affair with her husband’s friend.  Why? “Main tumse chidh jati hoon yaar,” She tells her husband honestly.

She is not afraid of divorcing her husband. What about her children?

Jaise baki divorce ke baad bachhe palte hain, mere bhi pal jayenge.”

The best part of this story is that Reena never considers herself a victim.  In fact, I felt both the men did not match up to her.

  1. The one by Karan Johar

The story has a different tone from the rest of the movie.  It is loud and cliched. What can we expect from Karan Johar!

Rekha (Neha Dhupia) is a character made only for entertainment, entertainment, entertainment with zero credibility.  Her clothes are too flamboyant for a school librarian. Or for anywhere.  In fact, her character is the most thoughtless character in this otherwise refreshing movie. She uses a vibrator in the school library, and then refers to it as a “pati” because it satisfies her.  This was right after she declares that men are useless when it comes to satisfying women!!

But she is not the central character in the story. It is her friend, Megha who has an arranged marriage with Paras.  Paras is none other than Vicky Kaushal from Raazi.  I had liked him a lot in that movie, and this is a completely different role which he has carried out very well.

Megha is not sure if she should marry Paras.  She tells her mother that she never studied in a co-ed school. She was never even allowed to go out with a boy and have ice-cream.

“Isliye to kehti hoon kar lo shadi. Fir jitna man ice-cream khate rehna.” Her mother replies.

But what if this ice-cream which you were forbidden to have all your life, for which you waited so desperately, the one which you have to have for the rest of your life leaves a lot to be desired?

Paras plays the average husband very well. Loving, sweet, and hopeless in bed.  He is so clueless that he happily tells his wife in one scene, “Tum bhi to bahut maze leti ho. Maine dekha hai!”

Kab? The wife wanted to ask, and do did I.

Overall, it is an interesting mix.  Pretty good for a Netflix watch!

Image source

Netflix original ‘Lust Stories’, Instagram (karanjohar)

 

 

 

 

Sairat Vs. Dhadak!

I watched the trailer of Dhadak and I was not at all impressed.  Although Ishaan looked like he had potential, Jahanvi has a long way to go.  The internet was ripping the movie apart with Sairat Vs Dhadak memes which were hilarious. I had not watched Sairat.  It was available on Netflix. Being a three hour movie, I completed it in two days.  Here is what I felt about it:

  • Lead actors Rinku Rajguru (Archi) and Akash Thosar (Parshya) were outstanding. Rinku has a simple yet expressive face. Parshya’s two friends have also acted brilliantly. Their body language, expressions, the social awkwardness is all so natural. You do not feel like you are watching a movie rather you are watching regular people going about with their life.
  • The movie does not romanticize eloping and living in a hut happily ever after! When Parshya and Archi have to live in a slum, Archi is upset. She is disgusted by the place. There are no ‘Akele hain to kya ghum hai, chahe to hamare bus mein kya nahi’ type songs. The moment they start living together, real life problems start.  Buying groceries, cooking, quarreling over extra salt, getting jealous of her male colleagues, missing family – It paints a realistic picture.  Archi looks like she does not have a lot of money.  Her hair, her clothes, her female collaegue with whom she shared that she missed her family are all realistic.  Yes, kiddos. Running away and living in a small hut built with love is not such a great idea!
  • The music!  I have downloaded Jhing jhing Jhingat! It is a riot! The way Parshya and his friends are dancing, and Archi and her friends dancing in the balcony – love it! Yes, they would obviously not be dancing together in her house and the director was mindful enough of that.
  • The ending! What can I say. The last time I felt like this was after watching Rita Morgan’s death in Dexter, season 4 finale as Dexter finds baby Harrison in a pool of blood.  I wish I had watched this movie in the theater.

Now coming to Dhadak.  Yes, I know the movie has not even released.  Ishaan and Jahanvi are just kids and I hope they do well in life. I especially feel bad  for Jahanvi who has suffered irreparable loss at such a young age.

But after matching Sairat, I feel all the memes are totally justified! As Kangana Ranaut rightly said Karan Johan is undoubtedly the flagbearer of nepotism. With all the grooming, training, genes,there is no comparison between Archi and Jahanvi! Please watch Sairat. Archi and Parshya are not star kids. But they know how to act. The movie has soul. Look at Jahanvi’s hair in the scene when they are running away and compare it to Archi’s hair! It makes me laugh. Did she run away with a hair stylist? You know what, Mr. Johar. It is okay to look middle class.  It is okay to look average. It is okay to have wavy hair.  That is how we, 90 percent of women in India look.  Go take a tour of India. There is a whole world without glamour. It does not take anything away from the essence of the movie (provided the movie has it in the first place).

I know anybody can have merit, star kids too. But there are so many talented people in our country. I wish they got a  fair chance instead of people who were lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  In which other country do we see this – Hero ka beta / beti hero / heroine? The whole khandaan gets a ticket to Bollywood!

Some of the memes were mean, but here is one which  is only making fun of the movie, and not people!

Sairat Vs Dhadak!!

Twitter source

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Break-Up Of Bromance – The Latest Fault Of The Indian Wife

Break-Up Of Bromance – The Latest Fault Of The Indian Wife

Wives have traditionally been put second by husbands, after their in laws and his extended family, and now after a bromance too?

Year 2011: A movie titled ‘Pyaar ka punchnama’ had released. After watching it, I had told a male friend how I did not like the portrayal of women.

“Why don’t you protest when all movies show men as villains? Haan? This movie shows the reality of women!”

Read more.

So What Is Your Hichki?

Earlier this week somebody I saw the video of the new ‘Ek do teen’ from Baghi 2. Jacqueline Fernandes’ outfit, her expressions, men ogling at her made me cringe so much that I swore Bollywood can do nothing better than objectifying women.

Yesterday I watched ‘Hichki’. I did not know much about the movie except that Rani Mukherjee, one of my favorite actresses plays a teacher.  I remember reading the name Sidharth  Malhotra in the newspaper in the context of the movie. Of course I missed the ‘P’ in the name, and the fact that he is the director. I told my mother that Sidharth Malhotra is the hero of the movie!! I was sure I read right, and kept waiting for his appearance until ‘The End’ when my mother told me ‘Tumhare Sidharth Malhotra ka to guest appearance bhi nahi tha’!

Just when I had completely given up on Bollywood, here was a movie about a woman who wanted to be a teacher. She has Tourette syndrome and cannot complete a sentence makes involuntary sounds like ‘Chaa Cha Waa Waa’ .  Not a very glamourous thing to do, and I do not think any actress could have pulled it off (maybe Vidya Balan). She is fully covered throughout the movie, has her own struggle, but has learnt to accept it and focus on her strengths. There is no romantic angle in the movie (what a relief)! The songs are in the background and help the pace of the film.

The movie has an underlying message:

Accept yourself! We all have something which we consider as a ‘flaw’. Get over it! Because if you don’t you get stuck with it. Your ‘flaw’ does not restrict your potential. But your own complex does.’

For someone it is stammering. For someone else it is their poverty.

I was touched by the movie. I googled ‘Tourette syndrome’ and watched videos of people who live with it.  Some have a flinch, others make some sound. It is called ‘tics’. I am sharing a video of a woman who involuntarily says ‘Biscuit’ in every sentence. She is quite happy and cool and motivates other people to have the ability to laugh at herself.

Zindagi tere ghum ne hamein rishte naye samjhaye

We continue to live with our shallow concerns such as how we look and how other people are going on better vacations that us.  We don’t like our color, or height, or weight and we also reject people of the opposite sex based on that. And then there are people who just want to be accepted. So, what if they are a little different. Aren’t we all different from each other? That is what the little girl (young Naina Mathuri) said to the teacher – Just treat me like everyone else.

I especially liked the way the ending of the movie. Rani’s acting was brilliant. The kids were also all a superb fit for their role. Bollywood has seen ‘school’ stories before with the likes of ‘Student of the Year’ kind of garbage. Rich, good looking kids who come to school only to fall in love. This was a real school story. I felt nostalgic and remembered the convent school I attended.  Sparsh Khanchandani had an important role. I kept telling my mother this is the same girl as Ichcha from Uttaran. She recognized her by the time half of the movie was over. Supriya and Sachin, real life couple played Naina Mathur’s parents role with much conviction. While Naina’s mother was supportive of her and loved her unconditionally, her father was embarrassed by her condition. I am a fan of Supriya and Sachin and it was a treat to watch them on screen. Other kids also acted brilliantly. Another girl, Natasha who played a rich kid is already a TV actress (my mother told me) but I don’t think I watch enough TV to know who she is.

The kids in this movie were getting a good opportunity through the ‘Right to education’ Act. But they were not willing to utilize it. They felt like victims, and that they would never be equal to the privileged kids, no matter what.  Naina Mathur tells them that there is only a difference of one thought to take the step from ‘Why’ to ‘Why not’. I loved that line. All of us have some hichki or another. Accept it. Get over it. Move on and live your life. Because it is not the hichki that stops you, but your own mindset.

Thank you to the makers of this movie. This was beautiful. Loved it. Please keep making sensible cinema and please stop making romantic movies with idiotic songs!!

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Bollywood! False Masculinity And Abuse of Women

One of the most vibrant movies of Sridevi, Chaalbaaz was on Zee Classic over the weekend. Watching Sridevi on screen has always been a delight. But ever since her untimely death, it has been all the more hard to resist watching her movies, knowing that such magic cannot be recreated again.

I don’t know how many times I would have watched Chaalbaaz as a kid. I have it memorized. My mother and I were discussing how we like Seeta Aur Geeta more than Chaalbaz. Father disagreed. He said Sridevi’s acting was far beyond excellence.   I went to the kitchen and missed a scene. My father called out to me, “Did you just see that? He grabbed her hair!”

I quickly ran back to the living room. Here was an angry Sunny Deol grabbing Sridevi by her hair. Reason: He thought he had seen her (her twin) with Rajnikanth, walking together!

He said to her something like, “Main to tumse sharafat se baat kar raha hoon. Aisa karne se to yahaan qatal ho jate hain”.

What a shareef guy! He did not kill her! Just abused her verbally and physically!

He said it so matter-of-factly as if killing a woman for cheating was a rule and not killing her was nice of him! Sharing the link. Scroll to 2:04.

All these movies I loved as a kid have been completely ruined for me now. Violence against women was so normalized! The recent killing of a woman who was stabbed multiple times, and its coverage in media brings us back to the stone age.

I was reading through some of the comments of how some men believed that when a guy cares and loves a woman so much, spends all his money on her, yet she leaves him or cheats on him what is he supposed to do! Some men even wrote that there is no place for “nice guys” in this world that has been taken over by “faminists”!

Unfortunately, relationships don’t come with a guarantee card. As unfair as it may be, people can leave. At any time. Men. Or women. If a woman cheats on you, please feel free to leave her. But her life is not yours to take.

I remember having a conversation with two of my male colleagues about an article I had written on “honour killing”. These two educated, modern-looking men who I interacted with daily, had lunch with argued that “in that situation any man would feel so angry that he would want to kill the woman!”  One of the the guys said that if his long – term girlfriend  cheats on him, his first reaction would be to kill her too! Obviously, the women were shocked. So these guys ended up changing their statements later. They said we misunderstood. They were just trying to speak from the killer’s perspective, what goes in his head!!!

Bollywood has created so much crap during my childhood that took so long to unlearn. It did much damage to our mindsets. The fact that I do not remember this scene as something objectionable means I probably found it okay. I remember another movie in which Aamir Khan had slapped Madhuri Dixit and he now truly regrets being part of such show of false sense of masculinity. Not only this, women like me also grew up believing we deserve abuse!

Mindsets take time to change. But  some people love to be stuck in the 13th century even today.

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